«If he really loves you, children is not everything in this world «
– Backside of beeing born with AIS
For my part I did not get my period, and by an examination at the hospital in 1997 I got the message that not everything was as it should! As 17 year old it is not a pleasant message to get, but right there and then and in the years that followed there was also other things that meant more; Friends, handball (played some junior international matches), school and eventually the boys and the youthful 20 years! Life had not to many worries and I was actually feeling really good! But as you get older and more adult that you begin to ask yourselve questions!
I was born with AIS, and a consequence of this syndrome is one is trailing maturing mentally; love, attachment and feelings come a little later than everyone else, so when I received the news when I was 17 year old, I was so far not quite on the same stage mentally like any other teenagers. I’ve always been childish, the little clown, and I can honestly say that I am an immature age 35, but who at times I have my serious sides.
AIS is a little different from MRKH, but we share the same basic problems, mentaly and physicly! At the end of the 90s doctors did not know enough about the AIS and the follow-up was just as bad! When you are17 years old going out of the hospital and have been told that you were born without a uterus and can not have children quite a few thoughts comes up in your head. But it was not the big questions on my part that were posed in the years to come. It was much easier and adhere to the «simple» love life «; Flirty. Infatuation. And not least love sorrows of boys who dumps you, or that you’ll never get!
I sit here as an adult 35 years old today, and has in recent years been thinking a lot! Especially when the big questions are asked ; you’ll have children? How many kids do you want? Again and again! Things were easier before. Uncomplicated. No major issues, before approached adulthood and one should begin and pursue true love! What I say to those around me? To those I date? New girlfriends? It’s not like that one drops a bomb on a date No. 2 and unfold their life that way?
Superficially, you are attractive. You’re social. You are the centerpiece. You get a lot of attention. You are pretty. However, the adult real life hurts! You will be put to a severe test. You are dumped. You are abandoned. You set last in the queue when major choices are to be made. I have been there! I have experienced it! No children – «no luck!» Reality hits you right in the face and you go in the basement. You’ll never get it and «happy A4 life» that Facebook daily utsonder! Society expects you to find a man, you should get children – preferably in the natural way – move into a house and live happily ever after! Im not saying that it is NOT possible, I’m just saying that it’s much harder.
I’m quite possible direct in my statements, but my experience suggests that children are so important to many men when they come up to a certain age they drop and aim for love but instead run to find someone they can reproduce with. I’m not saying everyone is like that, but I speak from experience! And you get stronger and braver as you get older. For those of you who are in your twenties, I know that life is not going to be a bed of roses. It is not always easy not to be like everyone else – not even on the inside.
Many tears. Many disappointments. Many thoughts. Many excuses.